Let me tell you something about horror films: I love them. And yet, they spurn me. There are so few actual good ones and so few of those are good in literal quality, not just “absolutely hilarious in its awfulness.” Heck, I even have trouble pronouncing “horror,” leading to very embarrassing situations. It would seem the stars defy me to love the genre, yet I do. And that love will be shared by telling you the best ones to enjoy this All Hollows’ Eve from your local Videology.
Sam Raimi is perhaps best known for being “that guy who made two reallygreat and one really, really bad Spider-Man movie.” But true fans know him as the creator of the epic EvilDeadtrilogy. You see, horror is easy to do on the cheap, something Raimi exploited for his first major film and then followed it up with two incredible sequels that defined slapstick horror. He’s a bit of a master at this craft. Remember the scene with Dr. Octopus’ arms coming to life in the hospital? That shit was freaky.
So thank gosh he came back to his roots for what is easily one of the best films of the year.
The story is about a young, doe-eyed woman trying to get a promotion at her bank job. She’s probably never even used a penny from the penny tray at the store. But she needs that promotion if she’s going to marry a talking computer boy. So when an old woman… okay, you know what? Skip to the end. The chick gets cursed by a gypsy and there is just no way around that. You are screwed. Thus she spends the movie trying to save her very soul while being haunted so as not to be taken to a fiery doom for all of eternity.
Going into Drag Me To Hell, you need to leave your disbelief at the door and just enjoy what’s happening. It’s absurd, it’s silly at times, once in a while you might even jump, but mostly it is just plain fun.
The go-to film recommendation for people wanting a scary movie that’s not more than 15 years old, the Descent is genuinely jump-worthy and cringe-heavy even in the beginning.
A group of ladies get together for a cave expedition, because apparently they’re way more hardcore than they look. And in this cave… terrible things happen. That’s really all that needs to be said. Heck, even before the terrible things show up, it’s an unnerving film to watch in the dark from the claustrophobic sensations it dishes out.
It’s certainly not the most revolutionary film, especially in terms of plot details, but there’s a genuinely scary sense of realism despite some of the things that, on the surface, should be pretty damn silly. It’s also damn unrelenting and not in a Hostel sort of way.
Purists should do their best to make sure they watch the original ending over the US version. You won’t be disappointed.
This movie is not scary. But! It has great indie cred in its cast, a soundtrack by Kelley Deal of the Breeders, and some really adorable moments. And then it gets wacky and Halloween-appropriate. Poor, shy veterinarian May just wants to be loved but everyone else is so selfish and nasty. Time and again, she’s tricked into falling for a boy or (as the case may be) a girl, only to be jilted once more. All she has is her doll that she talks to and the screwed up memories of childhood. Golly, I hope nothing really terrible happens to tip her over the edge into a vixen-y rampage!
I’m secure enough in my ‘Murrican patriotism that I can admit that, sometimes, the Canadians get it right. I’m not talking about health care or gay bishops. No, this is something more important: I’m talking about entertainment. Ignoring Avril Lavigne and Keanu Reeves, they gave us Neil Young, Jim Carrey, Leonard Cohen, and like half of comedy everywhere. They also gave us… Clone High.
You may have seen it for a minute on MTV alongside reruns of Sifl & Olly, but Clone High originally aired on Canada’s Teletoon (which is probably like our Cartoon Network but rolled in cornmeal [obscure joke alert]). The show told the tale of, conveniently, a high school made up entirely of clones. But not just any clones; every character on the show save for the staff is a historical figure made in teenage form. Sounds iffy, I know, but get this: the main character is Abe Lincoln, kind of a gangly loser who’s obsessed with Cleopatra (the resident Regina George) but she’s dating super-jock JFK and the artsy outsider Joan of Arc is in love with Abe and Abe’s best friend, Gandhi, is too wild and hyper to care about any of this and then Jesus Christ is actually Jesús Cristo in shop class and ohhhhhhhhh god it’s brilliant. This is the kind of premise where they come up with such an enormous sandbox and completely run with it. Every episode, another remixed historical figure shows up with hilarious results. And this is besides all of the ridiculous things going on that’s completely beside the point that this is a school full of famous clones.
Episode highlights include “Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode,” which features some great makeover montages of makeovers and also some makeovers. Also sure to be a favorite among the cinephiles is “Film Fest: Tears of a Clone.” Each major character has their own student film to help promote “expressing themselves” so as to avoid more riots and it is the most amazing showcase of hilarity I’ve seen in a cartoon. Seriously, between Abe’s football-playing giraffe epic and Joan’s wannabe French surrealist art film, it’s as close to perfection as animation can get (I’m looking at you, Wall-E).
The show was plenty outrageous and made all the better with the amazing cast, oddly culling actors from both Scrubs and SNL. It also included a slew of guest stars, from Marilyn Manson to Mandy Moore (alliteration!). Unfortunately, it only last a single season and is still listed as “on hiatus,” but, well, that was about 6 years ago so it’s not likely to come back any time soon. Still, you can enjoy all 13 incredible episodes by renting it at your local Videology (meaning this one)! So hit up the TV section and bask in its glory, for it is great.
There are a lot of great food movies out there: Babette’s Feast, Eat Drink Man Woman, Like Water for Chocolate, Big Night, Mostly Martha and, most recently, Ratatouille. But the greatest food movie ever is Juzo Itame’s 1988 masterpiece, Tampopo. I think I’ve seen it upwards of 30 times. Billed as “the first noodle Western,” the framework of the plot does indeed sound like an old horse opera: a vulnerable widow (Itame’s wife, Nobuko Miyamoto) struggles to keep her ramen shop in a rough-n-tumble neighborhood while being strong-armed by local thugs… until a gruff but kind stranger (Tsutomu Yamazaki) rolls into town and lends a hand, showing her
But what makes Tampopo so special is how it frequently strays away from the main plot into digressive skits about Japan’s obsessive food culture. The number of amazing, funny, sexy, perceptive, mouthwatering scenes are almost too many to count, though two set-pieces starring eggs are probably the film’s highlights. (One involves making an omelet; the other a raw yolk.) It helps if you’re into food (and a carnivore) but Itame’s genuine love of his subject comes through in every frame. If you don’t finish the film craving a big bowl of ramen, you don’t like to eat or you weren’t paying attention.
And when you meet that craving head-on, I have some suggestions:
Ippudo
65 Fourth Ave. (at 10th St.) | 212-388-0088
The first American branch of a popular Japanese chain, Ippudo has been hyped incessantly since opening in early 2008 and there’s rarely an hour when there isn’t a wait for a seat. The $13 price tag for a bowl of noodle soup may seem steep, but only till you taste the super-porky tonkatsu broth that powers their signature Shirumaru and Akamaru Modern ramens. Seriously delicious.
Ramen Setagaya
141 First Ave (btwn St. Marks and 9th) | 212-529-2740
34-A St. Marks Place (between 2nd and 3rd) | 212-387-7959
The two East Village outposts of another Japanese chain, Ramen Setagaya specializes in shio ramen, which is salt-based (as opposed to miso or soy sauce) and lighter and maybe more complex than it’s more well-known tonkatsu cousin. But equally tasty.
Menchanko-Tei
43-45 W. 55th St. (btwn 5th and 6th) | 212-247-1585
131 E. 45th St. (btwn Lex and 3rd) | 212-986-6805
Five years ago if you wanted good ramen in NYC you had to go to Midtown, and king of the roost was Menchanko-Tei who still serve up scrumptious soup at their two locations.
Minca Ramen Factory
536 E. 5th St. (btwn aves A and B) | 212-505-8001
Like real ramen joints in Japan, this tiny East Village spot doesn’t offer much in the way of atmosphere the place stays packed. Also one of the few places to offer vegetarian ramen.
Bonjin Ramen at Dokebi
199 Grand Ave (btwn Bedford and Driggs) | 347-429-0329
Shockingly, Williamsburg doesn’t have a ramen joint yet (though there is talk of a Momofuku coming to the neighborhood) but if you don’t mind eating late, Korean restaurant Dokebi lets some talented Japanese ladies take over the kitchen from Midnight to 4am. Bonjin makes a variety of tasty dishes but their signature ramen is why most people go. It might be a little overstuffed for purists (you’ll find corn and arugala in there along with the noodles, scallions, bamboo shoots, and a big chunk of pork belly) but it is no doubt satisfying.
And some advice on how to eat it from Tampopo:
One last ramen note: Brittany Murphy is starring in the upcoming movie Ramen Girl, which looks like a cross between Tampopo (whose Tsutomu Yamazaki features as “the ramen master”) and The Karate Kid, probably taking the noodles from the former and the sap from the latter. Here’s the trailer:
A warm, witty film about figuring out what’s really important in life, “Local Hero” is understated, but poignant. Starring Burt Lancaster and Peter Riegert. (Staff Picks - Bill)
Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani star in this bizarre tale of marital dysfunction, directed by Andrzej Zulawski and set in a bleak and oppressive Berlin. The first half of the movie sets the stage: Neill and Adjani’s marriage is not only on the rocks, they both seem a little unhinged and hysterical. In the second half you find out why. Not a movie for everyone, but Cronenberg, Lynch and Argento fans take note. (Staff Picks - Josh)
For years friends of mine have been trying to get me to watch the BBC’s 2003 miniseries State of Play. So I finally took it home after work last week. Only intending to watch one or two episodes then do something else, there I was at 4AM having just watched the whole thing in one go.
This is the best television drama of it’s kind I’ve seen since The Wire, a highly-complex tale of ethics, morals, love, friendship and murder set against the world of Big Newspapers. Mind you, it’s not as nutritionally-satisfying as The Wire — at it’s core it’s a pulp thriller the same way Michael Clayton is — but the dialogue crackles, there are genuine edge-of-your-seat moments (or edge-of-your-futon, in my case), and it boasts across-the-board great performances from the likes of James McAvoy, John Simm, David Morrissey, Polly Walker, Kelly Macdonald and the amazing Bill Nighy. Director David Yates really knows how to pace a thriller like this (he’s since been put in charge of finishing the Harry Potter series) and you won’t feel too guilty if you watch all six hours in one go like I did. And if you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Currently, State of Play is being made into a movie starring Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Jeff Daniels, Rachel McAdams and more. Will it be any good? Maybe. But it won’t be as good as the original.
