Do you have a cell phone? Have you ever been stuck in traffic? Have you ever been taken hostage by a nasty British man with a big shaved head, big shiny muscles, and a mean mean stare? If any of these three apply, this is the movie for you! I know what you’re thinking, I was in the same boat until I watched it! A movie about cell phones starring Kim Basinger and the guy from The Transporter? What a waste of time! Oh, how wrong I was. . .

Cellular doesn’t f**k around! The excitement starts and doesn’t stop for 94 lean and mean minutes! The basic premise is thus: If the signal (as in cell phone) dies, so does she (as in Kim Basinger)! This means if he goes through a tunnel, into a basement, or drops the phone - Kim dies! If his battery runs out, she dies! Why are the stakes so high? Because Kim Basinger has been kidnapped by a motley gang of thugs (led by The Transporter guy) and locked in an attic! She doesn’t know where she is and she doesn’t know why they chose her! All she knows is that said beefy Brit has also kidnapped her son and is threatening to kill him if the whereabouts of Kim’s husband are not revealed pronto! Luckily there is a phone in the attic! But then the thugs smash it! This is where her skills as a science teacher come in handy! What does she do? She hotwires the phone! But she has no control over whom she calls… Enter Johnny Storm, a hapless beach boy who just can’t get the hot girl he wants. He answers the mystery call and after what seems like an eternity he finally believes that her plea for help isn’t a joke and they join forces to save the proverbial day! Phew!

This is possibly the most relatable action movie I have ever seen. No jumping off seventy story buildings, no T-Rex, no atomic bomb - plenty of excitement. Every obstacle that results in action is an obstacle I have faced, that many people probably face every day; sans kidnapping. This is an action movie for Joe Shmoe and Sally Smith.

I think I could probably watch this movie once a day and be absolutely fine.

-Mariah Klapatch